LESSON FOUR
Switching places
Did you find it hard as the Listener not to steal the spotlight back to yourself? It's hard, isn't it, not to go back to old habits of semi-listening while you figure out what you're going to say? Or correcting the facts, or getting defensive, or explaining how the other person could fix the problem? If you slip into the Speaker role to defend yourself, or go off script, try using a "talking stick" -- I use a squishy ball -- to keep you on track. If you're the Speaker, you hold the item. If the Listener starts defending or explaining, remind them that you're holding the item and it's still your turn. Laugh about it. Move on. It'll happen to you, too, when you're the Listener.
Now it's time to switch places. The Listener is now the Speaker; the Speaker is now the Listener. If you're using a squishy ball or other item, pass it to the new Speaker.
It's Not about the Nail!
Again, using a neutral situation (not an offense that the partner did) that happened recently, repeat Lessons One, Two, and Three. Once finished, share how you each experienced being the Listener and Speaker.
Now, as a treat for doing such a good job, watch this parody video. I have to admit, it pokes fun at what I do, and what you're learning here: "It's Not About the Nail!"
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